The Inner Game - Play #1:
Dare to be Bad: Building up Courage to Start Something New and Suck at It
Aha! moment
Actionable takeaways
A bold but fun challenge
Reading time: 6 minutes.
How many times have you stopped yourself from trying something new? Hitting up that karaoke stage or wearing that daring pink blouse. That cold feeling that goes through your spine when you compare what you are doing to what others are doing. Sounds familiar?
The root of these feelings is based on limiting beliefs that prevent you from exploring new hobbies, skills, or ideas. And if you can relate to these, mate, you're not alone. Fear of failure and limiting beliefs are common barriers that prevent many of us (even all of us) from stepping out of our comfort zones and trying something new. Me, this project and this newsletter were my example. But here I am breaking free from this mindset and daring to be bad!
Doing it for Enjoyment and Pleasure
One of the keys to overcoming limiting beliefs and fear of failure is to approach new activities with the goal of enjoyment and pleasure. How would your experience be if instead of worrying about how good you are, or if you are doing it right, or how well you perform, you’d focus on the experience itself? Taking that cooking class, dancing, learning a new instrument, or learning a new language can and should be done for the fun of it and, not to prove to yourself (or anybody else) how excellent you are at it. I don’t think that was your original intention, wasn’t it? I don’t remember liking exams back in school, but if that’s the case for you and you enjoy every activity feeling like a test and having a performance result afterward, hit me up. I have questions.
Set Expectations for Yourself, Not for the Performance
I bet you also have high expectations for yourself all the time, which can lead to disappointment and discouragement when they are not reached. (been there, done that) Instead, focus on the process rather than the end result, and see the magic happen. If you want to learn to play the guitar, for example, set a goal of practicing 30 minutes every day rather than performing a spotless melody. This will allow you to take your time studying and progress at your own pace. You’ll notice how much you will enjoy the process this way.
Done is Better than Perfect
Many of us fall into the trap of endlessly preparing for perfection, which can prevent us from ever starting. Remember that done is better than perfect. By putting your work out there and receiving feedback, you'll learn and improve more than if you were to wait for perfection. Hit that 👇👇 button and tell me how I did.
Being Authentic and Doing Things You Like for the Sake of Enjoyment
Being authentic and true to yourself is another important aspect of daring to be bad. Don't let your fear of being judged or of not fitting in stop you from exploring new things, new places, and new people; think of all the ‘new’ things that you don’t know yet. Remember that being yourself and doing things you like for the sake of enjoyment will inevitably, with time and consistency, lead you to become better at it. With practice and patience, you'll improve and gain confidence. Most important than that, the people that do not understand you will criticize you anyway, and the people that truly love you will love you for exactly the weird freak you are, honor them by showing up as you.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs might keep us from broadening out and realizing our full potential. Only when you identify and question these ideas you get to break free from them. "What is keeping me from pursuing this new thing?" and "What is the worst that may happen if I try and fail?" "What's the best that can happen?" Michelle Poler would say. You may conquer your fear and take the first step toward attempting something new by confronting these ideas and reframing them in a positive light.
So, what are some things you can start and let yourself be bad at? Here are a few ideas:
Painting or drawing
Learning a new instrument
Cooking or baking
Writing aka sending your first newsletter.
Photography
Dancing
Making that post or reel
Remember, the key is to approach these activities with the goal of enjoyment and pleasure, set expectations for yourself, and remember that it's better to finish and improve upon your work than to endlessly strive for perfection and never complete it.
Aha-Moment!
I have been postponing sending the newsletter for the longest time. And it was just a reminder for me that fear and danger are not the same. Doing things that are outside of my comfort zone will always bring some fear with it. The real trick is to do things despite the fear.
Actionable Takeaways
Approach new activities with the goal of enjoyment and pleasure, instead of worrying about how good you are or how well you perform. You don’t have to be good at it to have fun or enjoy it.
Set expectations for yourself based on the process, not the outcome. As you dedicate yourself to enjoying yourself more, time will cease to be relevant and without realizing it, the constancy in enjoying yourself will inevitably lead you to become good at it.
Remember that done is better than perfect. By putting your work out there and receiving feedback, you'll learn and improve more than if you were to wait for perfection.
Being authentic and true to yourself is important. Don't let the fear of being judged or not fitting in hold you back from trying new things. How will you find out what you enjoy or who you truly are if you don't try things for yourself?
Identify and challenge your limiting beliefs in order to break free from them. Reframe them in a positive light to overcome your fear and take the first step toward trying something new.
A Bold but Fun Challenge
Try something new and dare to be "bad" at it, using the tips and ideas here. Share your experience with me by answering this newsletter and telling me what you learned or loved about it. Let's encourage each other to break free from limiting beliefs and embrace the joy of exploring new things!
Remember that done is far superior to flawless or perfect. You can let go of your fear of failure and enjoy the excitement of learning and discovering new things, and who knows, you might just realize that you aren't that bad at it after all.
What a lovely article! It really makes me think about what I want to do & learn next!